Expectation(s)
So, the surgery is done and I'm almost through with week 3 of recovery. Childbirth would be easier than this! Its actually doing a lot better (says my mom who I have totally allowed to take care of me, having moved home to my parents house for the past two weeks) and I'm hoping to still make our family trip to Denmark (ahh the motherland) and onto the playa after that. The catch is this:
1) I still can't put ANY weight on my newly bionic foot, this means I'm still on crutches.
2) Pain is still totally all up in my shit, I suppose this is to expected when screwing tendon into newly "shaved" foot bone but you know what its 2007 I want a MORE bionic experience than this. (meaning HELLO faster recovery PLEASE)
3) My family trip leaves August 5th. This gives me two weeks more or less to be fully weight bearing and I'm afraid that just ain't gonna happen which means
4) Crutches. Europe. Shitt-AY (I know I know, Europe is super cool and it'll still be awesome to go but really my mobility is non existent right now, if I can't prop my foot up its misery so this limits just how far from the seated/reclined position I can realistically go)
5) We get back from Denmark on the 23rd of August. My next doctor's appt. is the 24th at which time I get another set of x-rays and find out if everything looks ok. And if it is they take off the cast and I miraculously start walking again after 2 months of non-mobility and not moving my ankle. (lets not even think about physical therapy here)
6) My flight to the playa is the 26th. i won't know if I can even go at all until the 24th. Whether or not my foot will take me there is another matter altogether.
Expectation is gonna be the death of me. I had such high hopes for this summer, I had wanted to get my head screwed on straight and get that whole mind/body/soul thing grooving so I could be centered and focused this fall going back into school. And now, well....I sit around a LOT and spend too much time in my head, or watching crappy movies and tv. I hate to sound so sorry for myself, its just that usually, I'm always on the move, always doing something and doing things for myself and now I can't even get myself a glass of water if I want to take it with me. The inactivity and helplessness is just driving me nuts. I am not a helpless, sedentary person and being turned into one, with the pain etc is just pushing me to the edge of reason.
So, pretty much I'm praying for a miracle here. It's nice to have things to look forward to but none of it is certain and everytime I look at my foot I think there's no way its gonna happen.
Keep those fingers crossed :)
1) I still can't put ANY weight on my newly bionic foot, this means I'm still on crutches.
2) Pain is still totally all up in my shit, I suppose this is to expected when screwing tendon into newly "shaved" foot bone but you know what its 2007 I want a MORE bionic experience than this. (meaning HELLO faster recovery PLEASE)
3) My family trip leaves August 5th. This gives me two weeks more or less to be fully weight bearing and I'm afraid that just ain't gonna happen which means
4) Crutches. Europe. Shitt-AY (I know I know, Europe is super cool and it'll still be awesome to go but really my mobility is non existent right now, if I can't prop my foot up its misery so this limits just how far from the seated/reclined position I can realistically go)
5) We get back from Denmark on the 23rd of August. My next doctor's appt. is the 24th at which time I get another set of x-rays and find out if everything looks ok. And if it is they take off the cast and I miraculously start walking again after 2 months of non-mobility and not moving my ankle. (lets not even think about physical therapy here)
6) My flight to the playa is the 26th. i won't know if I can even go at all until the 24th. Whether or not my foot will take me there is another matter altogether.
Expectation is gonna be the death of me. I had such high hopes for this summer, I had wanted to get my head screwed on straight and get that whole mind/body/soul thing grooving so I could be centered and focused this fall going back into school. And now, well....I sit around a LOT and spend too much time in my head, or watching crappy movies and tv. I hate to sound so sorry for myself, its just that usually, I'm always on the move, always doing something and doing things for myself and now I can't even get myself a glass of water if I want to take it with me. The inactivity and helplessness is just driving me nuts. I am not a helpless, sedentary person and being turned into one, with the pain etc is just pushing me to the edge of reason.
So, pretty much I'm praying for a miracle here. It's nice to have things to look forward to but none of it is certain and everytime I look at my foot I think there's no way its gonna happen.
Keep those fingers crossed :)
posted by WanderLust at 7/16/2007 12:30:00 AM
1 Comments:
Hey, you know sometimes things like tis happpen to us for a reason. It really allows you to reevaluate what's going on in our lives. It will definitely make you a stronger person.
I totally feel your pain having had my left knee reconstructed from a football injury. It pretty much ended my professional football career, but it allowed me to pursue to pursue other things.
At any rate, I really enjoy reading your blog, and all the adventurous things you like to experience. A lot like myself.
So how's the foot coming along? How long are you going to be off the foot?
Hope All Is Well.
1Luv,
MarcAnthony
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